I don’t know many people that have had a less than stellar relationship experience, or in my case, several and then declared “I’m done with love!”.
“Picture it, Sicily 2017…okay well Indianapolis 2017” (said in my best Sophia Petrillo voice-Golden Girls reference) and I was done! I had just started my pageant journey as a pageant contestant and title holder and fell in love with the distraction that being involved with community service provided. It felt so good to serve others and be the light in someone else’s day. Not worrying about relationships, I began to slowly rebuild my self-esteem and getting acquainted with knowing me. I found a church home that was amazing, I got involved with small groups, and started volunteering with our Singles Ministry. (Watch out ya’ll). One of the rules for the Singles group, was no dating anyone in the group. PERFECT! There was no one cool in the group anyway, well besides me and some great sisters in Christ. Volunteering, serving, growing stronger in Christ, I was laser focused. Then came the Popcorn stand.
One new skill that I acquired through my church service was learning how to pop popcorn. Now this is no ordinary ability. There is a fine ratio of kernel, to seasoning, and then the process of bagging the freshly popped highly coveted snack was an art, and one that I took very seriously for movie days at church and movie nights. I am really proud of my popcorn abilities, maybe I should add that to my resume? Okay back to the story…
One Friday night, we were hosting a movie night at church, I don’t even remember the movie that night, but I was set up in my popcorn zone, ready to pop and provide the snacks to the people, kind of like a loaves and fishes thing, but I had plenty of popcorn (okay so not really like loaves and fishes), but I digress. I was setup, took my customary selfie to post, because if you don’t post a picture, did it even happen? I was ready to roll! Additional volunteers began to show up, and one guy from the Singles Group shows up, I had never talked to him before but had “seen” him on Facebook and knew his Mom and Sister (who are amazing by the way), so our volunteer coordinator assigns him to help with popcorn. Remember I’m a popcorn dynamo so I have a process in place, so I’m like okay cool, New guy, I’m the popper, got it? Don’t get in the way of my process. (I didn’t say that but I MAY have thought it). So, I’m popping, and he’s trying to put the popcorn in the tiny bags and his hands keep ripping them, I heckled him, we make small talk, decide he can be the money taker, I’ll just pop, and we complete our shift, and I don’t really think anything else of it outside of thinking that he had the most amazing smile ever.
As anyone would do, I check him out a little further on the ‘book (Facebook) and keep it moving. He didn’t have a lot on there, he was a dad of two littles, so I was like okay. Here’s where it gets interesting…I had just read a book called “The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears” and completed a 40-day prayer focus. During this focus, I made my list. After all, I wanted my prayers to be focused and specific, so I made my list of what I wanted in a life partner (If I ever ventured down that path again, because remember, I was DONE!). Two things on my list were: he couldn’t have little kids, because my kids were older, and he had to be able to dance (don’t ask). I later find out that he had recently made a list too, coincidence? I think not.
For the next few weeks, our church ran the “Movies with a Message” series, it’s amazing. Recent movies with a message from the Bible tied in AND concessions each week. Alright now, I’m back on my popcorn stand! At the time I attended first service and my new popcorn stand friend attended second service, so we only saw each other in passing as we were volunteering for different services. So, one Sunday the movie was “Rogue One”-Star Wars stuff. I stopped by concessions and made small talk about how Star Wars movies weren’t really my thing and popcorn stand friend was raving about how good they were. Ummmm, yeah okay. Church ends, movie and message were incredible, so I just had to message him and tell him, right?
We began just basic messaging and chatting about random things for a few weeks. Then a new movie was coming out and I just threw out, “we should go check it out”. Popcorn friend says, yeah we should. In my mind, I’m thinking well that will never happen so okay. Next day, he sends me a list of times and day options to see this movie. I start thinking, hmmmm, this is definitely different. We confirm a day/time and agree to meet, after all, he could be a killer and I just don’t ride with people. Safety First!
Now it’s time to dress for “the movie”. The thing is, I don’t know if it’s considered a date, or a hang out. What to wear? Just in case, I dress casual cute. You know looking nice, but not like I really tried to look nice, just in case. I arrive at the theater and head in. We walk up to get tickets, and he buys my ticket (is this a date?), go to concession stand, get snacks (I haven’t opened my wallet yet…is this a date?). He has to carry my drink because it’s too big for my hands, movie drinks are HUGE, don’t judge my hands! Sit down, watch the movie and head out to leave. He opens the door for me. NOW, it’s been a minute for me, but men don’t really open doors for ladies anymore, so this was interesting. He walks me to my car and we stand in the movie parking lot talking for about 3 hours…I was wearing heels. Standing. Talking. Over 3 hours. About everything. About how neither of us are looking for a relationship or even to date because been there, done that. We share war stories, talk kids, goals, future plans, then we part ways. Get home, and start messaging again, for hours. We talk about some movie that I had never seen, and he raves about how great it is, and he’s going to drop the DVD off at my house the next day, ummmm okay.
Since that date, outside of me traveling for pageants or work, we have never spent a day apart. Even when I broke my leg playing kickball at an event that we volunteered at (seriously, don’t ask, lol). It was the sweetest relationship as we were both super cautious since we had been burned before. We built a friendship of full transparency, sharing and showing the good, the bad, and the ugly. We prayerfully decided that we would evolve into a dating relationship and then into a courtship to marry. We kept our relationship for the longest time to just us, outside of family, remember I knew his mom and one sister already. And it was the nicest, purest time of getting to really know someone, finish each other’s sentences, truly enjoy someone’s company, and have an amazing best friend. I truly appreciate the time and work that we put into getting to know each other, praying together, figuring out how we work, focusing on what we were, what was ahead and God’s plan, because to this day, things just work. I’ve never had someone that knows what I’m thinking before I say it and vice-versa, he’s my #1 fan, cheerleader, protector, friend and I’m his. (Did ya’ll see that cover photo? I mean, wow).
OH! I almost forgot…there was a very important “test” I had to pass. I had to meet his Granny, and if Granny didn’t like me, it was game over (I didn’t know this until afterwards, but whew!). This was also our first road trip together, you don’t really know someone until you’ve traveled with them, don’t believe me? Try it. Think of people that you’ve traveled with that drive you crazy.
So back to the beginning of the story, when I said my list was funny. God has a sense of humor and way of showing he knows best because he gave me everything on my list, except a man with no little kids and a man that can dance, although he will bite the bullet and dance with me, because he knows it makes me happy. But in the end, what I got was so much better. AND I hit the jackpot of a phenomenal mother-in-love, who I can’t thank enough for raising such an incredible man, 3 amazing sisters-in-love, a wonderful new Granny (I did pass the test after all), and an awesome uncle! So I say all this to say, don’t count out someone you may meet at a popcorn stand, because you just never know where it could lead, and just trust that God always knows what you need better than you do!
Leave a Comment